


I Heard you in the Wind

by ItsasUmbrella, Poppys_WriteWorld



Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Canon divergence - Hiccup leaves DURING the final training test, F/M, still working on the tags, ten years after Httyd
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:06:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22296790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsasUmbrella/pseuds/ItsasUmbrella, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poppys_WriteWorld/pseuds/Poppys_WriteWorld
Summary: After many years involved in a never ending war between Vikings and Dragons, Astrid Hofferson is going for a quest to find the one who taught her the truth about dragons ten years ago, but he's also the most searched criminal in the whole Archipielago. However, he's the only hope to end this war. Would Astrid find the same person after so long?
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Astrid Hofferson
Comments: 24
Kudos: 88





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello Hello
> 
> So here it is "I Heard You in the Wind". This project started in a middle of a conversation with itsasumbrella. Since October, this subject is in our mind and passionate us. We have huge fun developping this little univers and its protagonists together.
> 
> A huge thanks to my friend Alizée who corrected the chapter in french (and who supports me for 6 years in those adventures).
> 
> I also want everyone to make a tribute to Itsasumbrella who completely corrected the translation of this chapter. English is not our native language and I hope you all will understand that it's not a easy exercise.
> 
> As some of you know : you can also follow us on instagram account itsasumbrellasart and poppy.p_draws for more informations and... maybe some fanarts.
> 
> I hope you all will enjoy it

It's been a long time since she had been accustomed to the heavy presence of humans. The market was crowded and it was impossible to move properly among the mass. She could not have imagined that such a large number of humans could live into a place so far from the centre of the Archipelago. The noise of the market was what bothered her most, as she was used to spend her time mostly alone, wrapped in her big wool and skin, trying not to be torn from her mount. The snow had started falling three weeks ago. The Archipelago hadn't seen such a cold winter in ages, or perhaps the mere fact that it was so far west, towards the open sea, made the cold harder and the wind more biting. Nevertheless, that day was particularly sunny and must surely have helped the popularity of the market. She watched the people around her getting agitated, shouting their negotiations. Women and men lined up in front of the merchants, cheerfully thinking about the salary they would collect at the end of the day. This exaltation of profit made her smile. She was offered pearls and soaps from the East and France, rare Asian foods that could please "women like her", grown in more humid countries. It was hardly imaginable to be wetter than the Archipelago, at the end of the known world. The air was dry and unwelcome, but she was almost suffocating among the crowd. The ground was warmer than the sky and the steam escaped from it like manure. However, the sky was blue.

A large woman pushed her hips; looking massive comparing to hers. She was invisible in this crowd of people thicker than boars and lazier than dragons.

There was just about everything possible and imaginable on these stalls. As the season prevented the sale of fresh products, food was mainly dried or smoked, as fish could not be caught during the winter, when the ice surrounded the islands. Nevertheless, merchants from all the regions known around displayed fabrics from the East, gold and silver jewellery set with precious and semi-precious stones, weapons, household accessories, decorative objects, seeds, copied books, bibles, parchments, ink from the Far East... So many items supplied from lands that Vikings never explored before, beyond the end of the world.. Witches were selling strange objects and fabulous ingredients where people crowded to observe and ask about the virtues of each one. Astrid smiled. It was a big display full of emptiness. Nothing caught her attention, as the few accessories for the weapons she was looking for were bad at the first sight. She was desperate to find something to fix her axe. She glanced at her weapon or what it was left of it. She sighed.

She had broken it a few days earlier, on another island and in another market. It was less crowded and the merchandise sold there was more unusual and illegal. The sale of dragons was forbidden in the Barbary Archipelago and auctions were held in a strictly private setting, in the presence of a limited number of buyers. Astrid had managed to infiltrate one of the sales, trying to pass as unnoticed as possible, even though she was the only woman surrounded by older men. It was not long before she attracted the attention of several buyers, apparently confusing her with a piece of meat they could buy. Fortunately, the blade of her axe was more than enough to convince them that she was not for sale. Several individuals turned to her as she passed by, boasting of an obscene comment indirectly addressed to her. Some would have gone directly to her, asking how much she was selling herself. She didn't have time to grieve, as she was there for a very specific purpose.

The auction halls were located in an artificial wooden amphitheatre, where participants were sitting on the stands while they were studying the wild dragons exposed at the centre of the assembly by their trappers. The magnificent animals were imprisoned in small cages and show signs of mistreatment, making their behaviour hostile and aggressive. Astrid had to hold herself when the trappers muzzled and hit them with no mercy and she was horrified as there were either overfed or starved dragons. Their scales were rubbed and the beasts were often moisturized to make them look cleaner and shinier, even if they were full of scars. Apart from the auctions, there was an impressive stock of goods from dragons: scales, claws, teeth but also guts, tongues and bones, stomach humor or even the bladders and testicles. She was disgusted with this kind of entertainment, but she pretended to be interested in the supplies acquired by domination. 

The Grimborns controlled much of the dragon trade and it was the first time she had managed to infiltrate on one of their displays. They were two brothers, one taller and thicker, with a bald skull, a trimmed moustache and seemed to find great satisfaction in mistreatment; while the other one, Viggo, was thinner and had less attraction for brutality, but more for commerce. Half of his face was burned off. Several theories put forward the origin of this scar, but no one knew for sure which one of them were true. However, one of her hypotheses was the reason she was in this hell, surrounded by people who would bury her alive if they would found out who she actually was. It had taken her several months to gain the trust of an informant who had gotten her into one of these auctions, so she was thrilled to see that all her efforts were born fruits. The marks of Viggo’s face were unpleasant to observe, the skin wavy and red from the burn. His left eye had lost its sight and his eyebrow and part of his hair were burned. He was sinister, his eyes turning around watching each of his buyers in a paranoid delirium. Her eye stopped on her for a moment, observing this new unknown face. He squinted a little before turning away from her and leaning over to one of his men who immediately raised his eyes to her. They were checking to see if her presence was justified. It was normal to wonder about the new faces in this type of sale, as access was extremely restricted and the participants could not be simple merchants. It was a time since the dragon trade had risen to have the same prestige as the human beings one, although slave traders were less secretive.

The auction was held in uninhabited island, naked of great vegetation and all kind of life, swept by the wind that forgot to slow down when it came to hit the small slope of the island. The attendees were constantly kneaded by the west wind, exhausting anyone who stayed there for more than two days. It was a tiny place out of the wide-open spaces inhabited and exploited by viking. A large pontoon made it possible to accommodate the boats of the sellers and purchasers and tents were erected for the event. One of these tents was home of Grimborn's secrets. Astrid quickly located the merchant's apartments, near the end of the storage warehouse for the animals offered for sale. She had seen him settled there while he was unaware of her presence on the island, waiting for them for days. She suffered from the mistreatment of the wind while she was hidden under the wings of her dragon. 

She and Stormfly had formed a strong and close bond. They had crossed the entire Archipelago together, turning over every patch of land in search of even the slightest black scale. The dragon had supported her in all her crazy ideas and tracks, ensuring her back and protection. Astrid owed her life on many occasions to the Nadder, whose heightened perceptions warned her from imminent dangers. She was also the only living being close to her in recent months.

She had slipped away before the sale began, blending in behind while the buyers were leaning a little more towards the first dragons presented. Some species were sold for their skin, others for their saliva or fire, others for their destructive capacity. There were arms dealers and Astrid knew the managers too well, partly because her island had gotten into the habit of calling them for their service. Her greatest fear was to be recognized, but if the present personalities were more sales specialists than trappers or hunters, good for her. 

Astrid went to the rear in the storerooms, where the cages piled up many dragons. Skilfully stacked towers were stored behind the presentation stage. The air was warm and yet her blood was cold. She watched, looking for the most efficient cage to open. At the bottom of the depot, an old Razorwip was waiting for his turn to be sold, probably for its sharp, impenetrable scales. The animal had its tail tied to the ground, its wings were stuck against its belly as its mouth was muzzled with numerous iron straps. His eyes followed the blonde stranger who was circling around him, whose smell was nothing like the smell of the men who transported him there. This would have been enough to keep the sale busy for a while… She slowly approached to the cage, whispering softly in the dragon's ear. He immediately let himself be approached. She had a sweet and empathetic smile towards him, concerned about his suffering. She raised the axe to the lock, which broke instantly under the blow. It was almost too easy. She entered into the cage to loosen the ties that held him prisoner. She freed him and removed the muzzle that had kept him harmless until then. His sharp teeth would flay his prey in a matter of moments. The dragon tried to bite her first, becoming agitated, displeased, while stretching from this long period of immobility. He pushed open the door and rushed to the exit, unable to spread his wings as long as they were surrounded by all those cages. The other dragons around got agitated, some cages fell, opening in shock. Astrid came out of it, satisfied. She loved that feeling, to see that kind of moment of freedom and empowerment. The animal was taken by vengeful madness and was going to make, whoever got in its way, pay for its suffering. He didn't attack her., of course, and she moved away from the chaos. 

Viggo Grimborn was a maniac. His dwellings were carefully arranged, as always. It was a tent with a cot on which the businessman had to sleep for short nights. In the centre, a table with numerous manuscripts and books were placed, stacked in order of size, with scrolls on one side and parchments on the other. A few weapons were scattered in crates stored against the canvas, carefully sorted according to the type of armament or clothing. She approached the table. She had to find any sign that would point to a Night Fury. Her hands went through the paperwork, she lifted the sheets, reading diagonally through the piles of paper. It was in the whole correspondence with buyers, private individuals, some preparations of purchase contracts, lists of sales with the values given to the dragons currently exposed. Outside, she could hear the chaos caused by the dragon's flight, as men tried to calm the animal. He would soon fly away or subdued. One of her resignations during the mission was that she could not rescue the reptiles on sale. The task was too difficult and she was alone. Her time around was short. But if she completed her quest, she had hope that this type of business would break up and disappear for good. 

She looked at the books. One of them particularly caught her eyes because of its extremely damaged cover. She opened it to observe the contents and her heart missed a beat. It was _His_ handwriting. In these lines, it was _His_ left hand. She was certain. She could have never expected so much from her research. She sobbed in anguish, unable to contain her shock. How was that possible? What was this notebook doing in the possession of the biggest dragon seller in the Archipelago? She grabbed it, deciding to answer these questions later, even though her whole mind was fogged with pain. She had to understand, she had to find answers. Still, it was the first absolutely serious lead she had had in months. . . if not years. The risk she was taking had finally paid off.

"I could ask you what your motives are, but I have very little interest in them.”

Astrid was startled as Viggo Grimborn entered into the tent alone, his arms crossed over the sharp blade of a knife. She stepped back, holding the notebook to her chest while Viggo looked at it with a smile on her face. 

"It's not yours, young lady.", he murmured. 

“This isn't yours either.”

Her voice didn't tremble, she wasn't afraid. He was trying to destabilize her, to reduce her. She wasn't a _girl_ for a long time, she was tired of being a _girl_. Her fist tightened against her axe, ready to use it, alert. 

"How did you get this?”

Viggo Grimborn only grimaced on one side of his face as his other side stayed motionless because of the burnt flesh. 

"I thought I knew that face. There's some nice drawings of you in there.”

He was trying to throw off her balance. She had found many drawings of her over the last ten years, scattered throughout the Archipelago, so she didn't oscillate and there was no point in getting upset. She needed to slip away, so she just needed to keep him talking for a while. She had waited too long for this moment. 

"It certainly wasn't you who drew them. Where's the author?”

Viggo had a straight laugh. 

"Didn't he send you?”

Astrid tighten her fist a little more, so she could feel her nails breaking her own skin. He should know something, but she wasn't supposed to reveal herself. 

"I thought you weren't interested.”, she said.

“I have many enemies, but when it's him I'm willing to take a little interest. I owe him everything.”

“Then, where is he?” 

She had raised the track. She had to know. She had never been that close to him before. 

"I don't know. He's been missing for a few years now.”

That wasn't the answer she was looking for. Her expression turned into pure annoyance. 

"Why do you have this notebook?”, she asked angrily.

“I got it because he gave it to me.”

“Lies!”, she screamed.

His evil smile froze Astrid's blood. What did he mean by that? A thousand questions had arisen in her boiling mind for the first time in months. She felt him so close. She could force Viggo to talk, but she didn't have the time. She needed to escape, so she looked around her again before putting her fingers to her mouth and whistle the call for help. 

"You certainly shouldn't have done that, Astrid.”

Viggo threw himself at her with his blade, which she narrowly avoided. She had had a frightening moment when her mouth uttered her name. She didn't give it to anyone, it wasn't even under that identity that she showed up for the sale. His voice resonated in her confused mind. He had managed to destabilize her; he found a loophole. She hit him in the back with the handle of his axe, although he was skilful enough to surprise her with a nudge in her ribs, trying to knock her down. He must have been a good warrior, but his left eye was missing, so Astrid moved towards to his blind spot and gave him a large blow in the jaw. He fell to the ground, a little stunned, she took advantage from the moment to find a way for escaping. However, he was already getting up when reinforcements came to his rescue. Ryker, certainly much more dangerous than his brother, entered into the tent. Astrid throw herself through the canvas out of hand, piercing it with her axe. Experience had thought her to dominate the art of an effective escape. 

Stormfly was waiting for her. She ran at the same time as the Deadly Nadder lifted her off the ground. Even if she was running away with more than she had hoped for, she wasn't feeling triumphant at all. The auction seemed to have been aborted, but Viggo Grimborn had escaped from her or, more precisely, he had played a clever game than hers. She clung firmly to the Nadder’s leg, waiting to be higher in the air to sit on her back, and she was holding the notebook firmly in her hand. They were flying low, a short distance from the dragon cages, so she couldn’t prevent her axe smashing against the heavy wrought iron of the cages. Her expletive got lost in the air while Stormfly raised to the sky. 

Someone pushed her again, violently pushing her away from her thoughts. She took one last look at the stalls and the crowd before heading to an adjacent street. She couldn't help but sigh with relief. There should be a blacksmith in that village. She needed to get her axe fixed as soon as possible, so she could get back to her research in the unoccupied islands of the area, although the snow was becoming a problem, even if she was travelling on the back of a dragon. Stormfly was resting in a cave on the other side of the island and she would probably sleep for a few days before they hit the road again. Her Nadder was all she had, apart from her broken axe and the notebook she found in Viggo’s papers. She read it for hours. It was the only trace she had found of Him after so long. Since she had started her quest, she had come across his trail too many times and the beginning of every winter she felt that she failed again, but, after travelling through all the Archipelago, she was finally able to find clues that were leading her towards the answers. She couldn't bring herself to give up until she was sure He was dead. He couldn’t be. That was impossible. The notebook she found was full of sketches and contained research more or less recent, so he couldn't be dead. The finding of this new clue proved once again that his research on dragons had continued after he had left Berk ten years ago and this kind of knowledge was apparently a major asset for dragon hunters. She couldn't understand how Viggo Grimborn was able to obtain his notebook and treat it with such disregard. He knew Hiccup. Personally. This idea terrified her, but it was the first time she had ever considered that he might have gone to the enemy camp and it would also mean that all her hopes would be shattered and her research had lead her to nothing. 

They would be condemned. 

Astrid clenched her fist to the handle of his axe. The cold bit her cheeks as she walked away from the heat of the crowd. She watched the blue cloudless sky. Her boots were slipping on the ice and she almost fell. Embarrassed, she watched around if anyone was looking at her in having trouble. Her gaze met an old man sitting on the steps of his house, with his eyes fixed on her. At first, she felt ridiculous, but she used it as an opportunity to ask the way to the blacksmith.

“Three blocks from here, M’lady. He's probably busy today because it’s market day, but he might be able to find time for you. His name is Haaken.”, he kindly indicated.

She smiles gently as she walked away towards the direction pointed by the old man. The streets were full of mud mixed with snow. She heard the market street starting to calm down as the sky was getting darker. Although the days were extremely short at this time of the year, life in the villages continued in the taverns, the cold insisting them on drinking more. She herself was passively looking for a place to sleep and she would certainly continue doing it after her visit to the blacksmith's shop. 

Astrid had built in recent years a fortress of solitude to accommodate her. She had spent the last few months on Berk by herself, her rare interaction concerning mostly her mother and brothers. It was a time since her generation was free of the concerning she could still have, most of them focused on settling down and building their own families. Subsequently, her attraction for solitude made her unable to create a link with anyone during her search through the Archipielago. It had been several months since she had left Berk for good, fleeing in a hasty manner from her home. She promised herself she wouldn't return to her homeland without him and she never broke any of her promises.

Around the corner, a small crowd gathered in front of the blacksmith's shop. She was very astonished by the female presence among the people, as forges were generally the prerogative of men. She approached, armed with her broken axe. The mass was bothering her and because of the particularity of her request, she chose to wait for the human cloud to dissipate it.

She didn't thought she'd have to wait that long. She spent several minutes trying to understand the reason why the crowd was standing there before finding out what was causing the giggling. The blacksmith must have been in good taste. She barely saw him among the heads, glimpsing him between two people, smiling gently. After a time waiting, people finally went away and she could finally walk to the shop while the light of the inside was gradually fading away. The blacksmith heard her approaching from behind, but he didn’t look at her.

“I’m sorry, you’ll have to come back tomorrow. I’m closing”, he said.

Astrid immediately understood why everyone was so interested in him. He had a wide and thick back, muscled by the forge, and, he seemed pretty tall. He was leaning over a bucket of cold water with a sharp blade.

“I’ve been waiting for more than an hour. I have a special request that requires special care for my axe.”

As she raised her voice, she saw the blacksmith’s body tighten and his left ear turned to her, like he was suddenly extremely attentive to what she was going to say. The skin of his face was strangely pale, full of freckles, bringing out the green from his eyes, which spread a little further when she finally could have a proper view of him. He was much taller than her, his brown hair was falling on his face and was tied to the back of his head. His chin and the contours of his mouth were surrounded by a short beard cut a bit carelessly. His neck was strangely delicate, resting on his large shoulders. He wore an apron and a green tunic held by a belt marking the waist, pointlessly trying to hide a chest thickened by the muscle. He was toned, young and handsome. However, the weirdest thing of this situation was that she wasn’t the only one shocked by his handsomeness. He was also petrified, with his eyes opened widely and his mouth ajar.

“Astrid?!”

And suddenly it made sense.

It was completely absurd. No. It was impossible. It was literally impossible. How didn’t she realize before?

It was him. She recognized him in his eyes. Only his eyes could pierce her like that.

“You… You idiot!”


	2. The Traitor

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Hello everyone,  
> Thank you so much for your followings, kudos and comments, it means the world to us.  
> I know it's been a while and i can't promise you quicker updates, english is not our native language and the translation of the chapter is very long.  
> Again and forever thank you so much to ItsasUmbrella for all her time and work on this project. You are my angel.  
> Still we hope that you will enjoy the read and that it will bring you answers to some of your questions.

The man who had just served her a glass of wine had broad green eyes. The fireplace of the forge animated his gaze, seeming lit from behind the color of the iris, as if his face radiated light. He kept the same big and enthusiastic smile she remembered from years ago, but he was a completely different person. He was twenty-five now and he seemed wiser and observer, as his intense eyes were analyzing every movement and gesture she was doing.

She was divided between different mixtures of astonishment and annoyance.

He crossed the forge, approaching her and entering her space. Her heart leaped for a moment, thinking he would attack her. He reached her delicately, overlooking her with all his tall and broad shoulders. Damn! She felt tiny. He took her to the shoulders with his wide hands to watch her. After ten years Hiccup Haddock recognized Astrid Hofferson.

Even his own way of walking had nothing to do with the lanky boy she had known. She remembered a clumsy fishbone who didn't knew what to do with his long, thin arms. He never was this type of thick and fat muscle Viking, wide from neck to foot. Everyone expected him to inherit his father's impressive and robust body, but he resulted to be very different. His bust was cut into a wide V, concealed under a blacksmith's apron and layered tunics, embroidered on the collar and the sleeves there was a thin line of with strange patterns she had never seen before. He had built a dry musculature. Hiccup was impressive, almost intimidating. Strangely, she realized that she might have imagined that he would remain the same.

"How long has it been? Ten years? I never even imagined seeing you on this island. It's so far from everything," he began, breaking the cold silence that threatened to settle between them, "it's incredible.”

She couldn't talk, the sounds stuck in her throat were taking her breath away. She couldn’t express everything that crossed her mind at that moment, overwhelmed by the situation.

What was she looking for? Innocently or by denial, she had perhaps imagined finding the same face, the same hair, the same voice. Had she imagined him older or had she unconsciously refused to do so? What was certain was that she had been looking for a puny and skinny little man, whose skin would have been eaten by the cold, alone on an island and accompanied by a Night Fury. Not... That. This _whole of him_ with big hands, who looked at her so peacefully. How could he stay so calm, so quiet? She had found him. She, a character of his past, appeared from nowhere and he was in there, with a stupid smile in his face and his eyes full of questions. Hiccup's eyes were not bothered by questioning.

She whispered his name again, to be sure he would answer correctly. It was him. He walked away from her for a moment. He watched her, looking her frozen cheeks and her eyelids made-up with an intense dark blue colour. The pigment had poured and streaked her face with fine lines of coloured sweat. He squinted her eyes to look for her irises in the painting, darkened by the night. They weren’t shining like Hiccup's.

He exclaimed, "It's you! Astrid... Astrid Hofferson. I would have recognized your voice everywhere, it hasn’t changed.” The words pierced the young woman's chest. Hiccup had kept a nasal voice now hoarser, lower. She remembered his stuttering and a little loud words when he spoke to her, his fleeing gaze that usually looked at his feet. He planted his green eyes in her own, like if he was defying her. He seemed confident, like if he had the situation perfectly under control. He had changed so much, but Astrid remained the same for him.

She whispered harshly, "What are you doing here, Hiccup?" He walked away again to give her some space: "I should be asking you the same question. Berk Island is much further East.”

"Why do they call you Haaken?" she still mumbled, feeling a bit dizzy.

"That's the name I use here, it's the one I chose,” the young man's voice was darkened, "If I'm not mistaken, Hiccup Haddock is not welcome in the Archipelago."

He backs up again, probably realizing that he didn't knew the reason why she was there. She might have been there to arrest him in the name of Berk or maybe she was one of those bounty hunters. After all, the prize on his head was pretty high. This Island, Lonoy, was at the end of the Archipelago, too far from the rumours and the hunters. She swallowed, trying to smile to reassure him: 

"Hiccup, I think we should talk. I'm not sanded by Berk, I promise you. I-I have questions”, she used measured words marking a short pause, “I need answers after all these years.”

They found themselves alone in that still hot forge. The impact of the temperature between the inside and the outside was too high and she felt her body warming up too quickly and superficially. They stared at each other, lost in a state of contemplation, unsure of their mutual intentions, realising that it was ten years since the last time they met. He washed his hands before sitting on a chair. She remained silent, still up, observing the workshop. The space looked like a tidy mess, the weapons were piled into corners with no real match and the contracts were stacked with mechanical drawings and sketches. She studied his handwriting, similar to the one in the notebook she had recovered days ago. His sketches had improved further, which seem more precise and responding to scientific scales and calculations that she was unable to understand. If she could still have doubts, this chaos confirmed that he was indeed Hiccup.

He sat in front of her with a certain enthusiasm. He continued: 

"But what are you doing in this part of the Archipelago? How long have you been around?"

Astrid suddenly realized how ridiculous it was. She didn’t want to answer that question. The pain of her shame in her chest prevented her from looking at him when she uttered her words: 

"I was looking for you."

The young man's face had a moment of hesitation, seeking the joke behind her claim. He burst out laughing, making her jump.

It should have been otherwise. She had recreated this scenario thousands of times and she never found herself in this one. She always expected him to be isolated, angry and threatening and she would appear as an alternative, a way to redeem himself. She would be his key to the door of redemption. She had never even been able to imagine that he could have had hidden in a city, that he could have had be social and being part of a society. She hadn’t never considered it until now and that infuriate her. It shouldn’t have gone like this: he, being integrated in a village at the western end of the Archipelago, in his forge which he seemed to manage on his own, invisible in a crowd that didn’t run after him and didn’t seek to harm him. The mere fact of seeing Hiccup Haddock integrated into a group was disturbing, very far from that outcast vision she had of him.

When his laughter subsided, his cheeks blushed slightly, realizing that she wasn't laughing Astrid's eyes were closed, her face blushed and her fists clenched against her knees. She seemed to want to disappear into her coat. She was serious, so many years searching for him and she had just found him laughing at her face.

"Were you looking for me?" he stammered. She bit her lip, slashing her flesh and nodded. Hiccup blinked; his eyelids trembled. "Did my father sent you? Are you coming to arrest me?" asked the young man with his jaw clenched.

"No, not at all, he doesn't know I'm here. No one knows.” she hesitated “I left Berk months ago, I basically ran away. »

The tension of his shoulders disappeared as his eyes widened with surprise:

"Why?”

"I - I had to find you, and I couldn’t stay any longer on Berk, the situation is…”, Astrid doubted a moment for what she was able to reveal. "Let's just say I'm not sure I'm welcome anymore."

Hiccup's eyes ran through her face, perplexed. He knew she was hiding something from him, the young woman's irises were tormented behind her straight gaze. He whispered again, in an almost imperceptible breath: 

"It's been so long... and what could have led the girl with an axe so far from her home?”. 

She had a shudder, watching her mouth move for a brief moment before replying:

"I need your help Hiccup."

He finished his glass before getting up from his wooden stool to go wash his face in a basin near the fireplace. He took off his apron and lifted the sleeves of his tunic. On the skin of his left arm, apart from the freckles that covered it, there were protruding black lines. She saw only the end of a pattern rising towards his shoulder. Three bands of inked interwoven and dense armbands were circled around his forearms. On his neck, rising from his shirt, small black spots with random shapes were defined between them: dark scales that dotted his moist skin. She holds her breath, too immersed in the indiscreet contemplation of these strange motifs. He turned to her, finding her disconcert.

"I don't know how I can help you Astrid. It's been so long…”, he began to explain.

"Do you still live with Toothless?", Astrid interrupted.

She had the irrepressible need to know the black dragon alive. She hastened to add something to her question, as if to justify her curiosity and not making him suspicious:

"I have seen no Night Fury but him and his reputation still precedes him.” 

Once again, she saw Hiccup tense, his shoulders braiding: "It's hard to hide a Night Fury.”

"Are you still hiding?", she asked.

"Let's say I've gone far enough that I don't have to hide myself anymore; but yes, I'm still hiding Toothless.”

Astrid hesitated to address the subject of her own dragon, feeling too shy for no reason. She didn't wanted to talk about herself, as he was the focus of her concerns. When he noticed that she was not adding anything, he said: 

"We weren’t hidden all the time during these last years, but I prefer to remain discreet here. This island is not Berk, but people from here are not much tolerant neither.”

Astrid smiled sadly at his words. There were few places in the Archipelago that chose the path towards peace with dragons, using a more measured speech.

For ten years, she had been traveling through the islands around Berk searching for people who had crossed the path of Hiccup. She had participated in every diplomatic journey of the chief, joining the party of his most competent men and women and, luckily, without the need of killing a single dragon. On several occasions she had tried to communicate for a fairer and less violent struggle, but the Berkians who were suffering didn’t listen at all. Even though her main intention was finding Hiccup, she did the greatest effort to solve the conflict in every way that came to her mind. She quickly realized that without concrete evidence of dragons were good, she wouldn’t cure the trauma of her community. So, she focused on finding the young man so she could have the evidence she needed.

She had spent her financial resources and her good excuses to her family for going unnoticed on the very island. All this to find him, _him_ , in secret, without the support of his tribe or her family. Her brother Arvid and her mother dreamed of seeing her enter the role that suits to her age and looking for a traitor was definitely not the Hofferson family’s ambitions for their only daughter. Berk considered Hiccup Haddock a traitor to his tribe. The runaway of the chief’s son had become both a taboo and a legend, a kind of non-event that had profoundly changed the history of the village. Astrid had noticed it every day since he was gone and her memories were full of those indelible moments: 

The snow hadn’t yet buried Berk when Hiccup won the Dragon training. By a miraculous chance for some, he got to the first place in a few weeks, doubling Astrid yet reputedly known as “unbeatable” and two years younger. She was, however, the only one in Berk who knew the truth about his impossible progress. The night before the final event, they had both discovered a coveted secret thanks to Hiccup’s dragon best friend. Toothless had inadvertently led them into the nest of dragons. These animals were the most tenacious parasites and the most dangerous enemies of the Vikings. Hiccup had rejected the fears of his kind to embrace the dragon race who had become, in such a short time, his only and best friend. Astrid, who had discovered by chance their great history, became part of this unfortunate secret without actually want it. Nevertheless, she had never felt so free as the time she was in the sky for the first time. She thought her freedom could be won at the thanks to this dragon training. She wouldn’t have to follow the training of how to become a wife, like any girl of her village, and she could become what her mother was: a great warrior. She wouldn’t have to prove her worth to anyone anymore, even less to her brothers. In heaven these issues had a solution, a breakaway.

Hiccup could change their world, but for that he had to convince his father first, Berk's chief. Astrid was the only one who knew about Toothless, the dragon who was waiting wisely for him in that cove hidden in the middle of the forest. That final test was the only chance for them to show their people the pacifist qualities of the flying reptiles. The Monstrous Nightmare, however, was one of the most dangerous species.

" _Be careful with that dragon._ "

Hiccup had turned to her after hearing her steps behind him. They saw how his father sit on this throne to watch the show. He had given an ambivalent speech about his pride in his son. He was proud, proud of his lies.

" _It’s not the dragon I’m worried about_ "

Astrid knew about the boy's painful relationship with his father. Stoick had begun his opening speech of the latter event by mentioning that he could finally appear in public after all his years trying to hide his shame. The humiliation may even have come more from the screams that accompanied his joy. It was deeply inopportune. Luckily, Hiccup wasn’t even paying attention to his father’s unfortunate words, but for Astrid it was heart-breaking: 

" _What are you gonna do?_ " 

He clutched his little fists, in the middle of a thought.

" _Put an end to this, I have to try_ ". 

He then put his big green look in her eyes before gently ask her: 

" _Astrid if something goes wrong, just make sure they don’t find Toothless_ " 

That request twisted her heart. Just imagining the scenario of not succeeding made her panic. He couldn't fail.

" _I will, just promise me it won’t go wrong._ "

She lied to herself that believing it that everything would go to be fine would make things better, but nothing could have gone worse after Hiccup Haddock entered in the arena. She could only see chaos of dust and ash after the vault of the arena exploded and collapsed over the public. Stoick was escorted to the exit, with Gobber on the heels. The peaceful corpse of the Monstrous Nightmare was forgotten in the middle of the arena.

Stoick didn’t listened to Hiccup. Even before his son could prove to anyone that their view about dragons was mistaken, he had stood up and struck with his hammer the iron that surrounded the walls of the arena. The dragon attacked the young boy under the terrified eyes of the crowd and Astrid, also horrified, tried in vain to help him. The boy was pursued by the creature and Stoick ran to his rescue. The rest of the spectators were paralyzed by the fear when they heard the distant whistle of a Night Fury. The plasma shot blinded the crowd when Toothless threw himself against the Monstrous Nightmare. The scene was much less precise, as the men and women were shocked from what was happening in front of them. Hiccup raised on the back of the infernal creature and emerged from a cloud of dust. The whole population of Berk had just enough time to see him on a Night Fury before it ran outward the arena, grounded, passing in front of a still stunned Astrid. They were followed closely by Stoick, howling with rage against the dragon, absolutely certain that his son was taken by him. 

Meanwhile, the Monstrous Nightmare, saw the vault of the arena collapsing on him and it broke his neck. The young woman and the rest of Berk stayed in shock. The vision of the dead dragon was enough the remind her that her vision was completely changed. The poor creature did nothing to deserve such a fate. Astrid watched the amorphous crowd one last time before running in pursuit of their leader, followed closely by her dragon training fellows. Behind her, large arms of Vikings were busy lifting the iron to take out the dragon's corpse. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured.

Astrid knew that Hiccup was hidden in the forge, searching for Toothless’ saddle that he hid there the night before. She could hear Stoick's voice when she was close to the forge, ranting a dense continuous speech that she couldn’t listen properly. But at least they were talking, that should be a good signal. However, she heard thunderous noises, probably from the father trying to stop his son by force. The only bit of conversation she could perceive was painful: 

" _You are not my son._ "

She hid behind the door, afraid of being surprised by Stoick. Astrid persuade herself that she could still go with Hiccup, that she could run away with him and find a solution together.

The shutters of the forge suddenly opened, and the Night Fury leapt outside, saddled and mounted. She expected that Hiccup would reach her out to help her mount Toothless, but she could only meet his wet eyes, whose tears were streaming down his face. He suddenly disappeared behind Tuffnut's body, which ineffectively tried to injure the dragon. Behind her, the members of the dragon training group were trying to prove themselves, both in misunderstanding and excitement of catching a traitor. A traitor whom they had adored and carried to victory a few hours earlier. The agitated dragon violently spread his wings to clear the space to rise and as a consequence of his agitation he shoved the child who came to attack him. Tuffnut’s body broke gloomy against the beams of the forge. There was a dark, heavy silence, during which Hiccup, shocked, observed the body of the young boy fallen to the ground, inert.

All Astrid could do was blow his name. The boy's distorted face was heart-breaking. He wasn't looking at her anymore. He activated the pedal of the tail mechanism, allowing the dragon to fly off at a dizzying speed and they disappeared forever in the sky.

Forever until now.

"Astrid?"

She looked up at him again, realising that the ghost of that child was long gone. Instead, she has found a man looking at her in the same way Hiccup Haddock did ten years ago.

Of course, he couldn't understand. She was just too naïve. Her heart was now beating like a drum.

He kept looking at her, staring at her, detailing her longer hair, her taller size and her wider hips. He had to see the first wrinkles in the corner of her eyes and on her forehead, signs of stress that had appeared far too quickly for someone of her age. He tried to read her as he was Hiccup Haddock, with a penetrating stare that was doing its best to decipher the invisible. Astrid couldn’t escape. But how could she tell him? How to explain her plans when nothing had happened as she was expecting? She needed to find a way to convince him to follow her back to Berk. She was feeling like she had to prove her worth once again and, fortunately, she had an ace up her sleeve.

"I have this, I think it belongs to you." 

From the inner pocket of the sheep wool that was covering her upper body, she took a small black notebook: the one she found in Viggo Grimborn's tent.

Hiccup was dazed, acknowledging the object. He didn't hesitate to ripped it out her hands, not even giving her time to react. However, she let him look at the book, impassive. He flicked through it for a few seconds, making sure it was his before slowly turning to her: 

"Where did you get this?”

"I took it from Viggo Grimborn a few days ago, when I was in the West, in the Thorgautr market.”, she explained.

"Did you enter the Thorgautr market? How?", he asked shocked.

"Yes, it took me a while, but I was following the trail of an archive I read in York. Luckily, all the dragon attacks and incidents at sales were recorded. Several people mentioned that you wanted to dismantle this type of network.”

"I wouldn't sum it up like that, but let's basically say I spent a lot of time with pirates," he mumbled, turning the pages in a distracting. “Did you went to York? It's amazing.”

Hiccup smiled quietly but kept his eyes on his diary. He quickly turned the notes, stopping from time to time on his sketches of applied engineering. Astrid had read and reread that notebook since she had it. She had spent long nights studying his researches. Some, on several rare species of dragons, which she tried to synthesize with her own work, carried out with more southern dragon species. In his notebook there was also a personal diary, which was full of notes of his monitoring of the trade between trappers and salesmen. Hiccup had probably joined one of their networks, surely to learn the practical and political tricks. Some confessions were full of suffering and reading such words was awful for the young woman. She was intruding in the intimacy of a young man full of disillusion and regrets. 

Hiccup observed with interest his old notebook, like if it was calling him to his previous life. When he reached the untouched white pages, he quickly closed it to return it to Astrid. She took it a little surprised as she was expecting him to keep it. 

"This is yours.” she insisted.

"I am sure you will make better use of it than I will," he replied with a smile.

She wanted this moment to be solemn and he treated it with a nonchalance that she couldn’t grasp. Each of his actions were elusive and that was making her even more frustrated. She took the notebook and opened it to the most enigmatic pages, those where no inscription, notes or sketches were included. Instead, a strange portrait of a young woman with clear eyes was watching her, a slightly ajar mouth and loose hair on her face. Astrid returned the notebook to him on that opened page. Hiccup's eyebrows raised in surprised, but at the end he couldn't contain a laugh.

"By the gods, I had forgotten that I was doing this! They're not bad actually.

"Is it…?”, she was too nervous to ask.

"You! Definitely. You were in my head for a little while”, His cheekbones were a slightly blushed of embarrassment, “I confess that I had the habit of drawing you, it was rather a comfort zone for me.”

There was an awkward silence. She studied again the lines that composed her young self-portrait. Of course, this wasn’t the only one of the notebooks. Astrid had found in his notes many drawings of herself, studies of her different expressions in coal. Surprisingly, most of the time Hiccup had represented her mindful or concentrate. 

"I had a soft spot for you,” he justified with a nervous smile. “When I was fifteen years old, I mean.”

"I know Hiccup.”

"You did knew?" he replicated stunned.

"You had to be blind not to see it. But as I didn't want you to feel embarrassed, I was just acting as if I didn't realise.”, she answered with faked disregard that hid her own discomfort.

"It's... surprising. »

The young woman avoided his gaze to observe the forge. She stayed silent few second before finding the courage to confess what was upsetting her for years: 

"That day...You left me behind."

Hiccup observed her strangely, his fingers slightly outstretched. 

"What do you mean?" he asked defiantly.

"You left me on Berk when we had just discovered the nest.”

"Actually, it was Toothless who discovered it..." he added coldly.

"Don't play with my words, Hiccup! I’ve been hiding this secret for years! A secret that could have saved us all! And you left me with it. With no solution.”

"As you please. I didn't come to pick you because it seemed obvious to me that you were going to tell everything to my father," replied the young man with clenched teeth.

"Excuse me?! How dare you to throw me such accusation?! Do you even think for a second that I would sell you to your father after what we saw together?! And do you even think that I would lead Berk to its demise?! Right into a trap that would have lead us to extinction?”

The tone of her voice had risen so much that Hiccup was taken aback. However, he didn't replied and he hold her gaze defiant and coldly. Astrid felt that everything was slipping through her fingers.

She was thirteen when Hiccup was gone. He was fifteen by then, the maximum age to participate in dragon training. His departure was difficult for the whole community. The chief's son, heir to the throne, had unscrupulously betrayed his tribe. The Council had even considered the possibility of removing Stoick from the chiefdom. How could Berk’s chief, who was aware of the slightest deeds and gestures of every citizen of Berk, a fine strategist and charismatic leader, didn’t realize that under his own roof his child was betraying his peers. Even if everyone knew the answer, it was clear that by questioning his authority had accentuated the tensions. The death of Tuffnut Thorston made Hiccup even more unpopular. A week after his escape, the Council sentenced Hiccup guilty of treason and murder. Wanted posters were sent to all corners of the Archipelago, searching for him and his dragon. Astrid stayed silent during that period. She spent most of her days with her mother and brothers, bearing her family's new favourite game: gossiping and debating about the Haddock case. They even betted on how long it would get to find Hiccup and the Night Fury, laughing if it would be dead or alive. During those endless meals, Astrid didn't pronounce a word. She wouldn't realise at that time, but her silence and paleness caught Haleth's attention, her second elder brother.

After those dinners, she snuck out to the cove, where she sits and waited for him to appear. Occasionally, she walked silently, hoping to find a new scale that wasn’t there the day before. He was going to pick her up, she knew it, he couldn't leave her on the island alone. He needed her to build peace. 

Winter and its first snows made her expectations more difficult. She still waited for him during three months, hoping that he would come and get her, that he would take her out of her condition and her lie, which she was enduring less and less. She _knew_. She had acquired terrible knowledge about dragons that cursed her. The trial for the crimes of Hiccup had questioned her. She was the last one to speak with him before he entered in the arena. She shut all the information, she didn't knew a thing. Her lies had isolated her as she preferred to distance herself from her grieved fellows. She had to protect her secret; her integrity was a part of the sacrifice. She waited for long time and even when she finally realized that he wouldn’t come back for her, she was dreaming of feeling a dragon's wings beat under her again. Full of resignation and disappointment she watched the situation of her people, certain that the solution was releasing the dragons from the Queen's influence. On numerous occasions she thought of going to the chief to tell him the location of the nest and what was in there, but Hiccup's leaving and treason had heavily marked Stoick. And she perfectly knew that leading her people to the island was leading them into a trap. She had therefore applied during the raids to make the road to the Helheim Gate unfound.

Hiccup had left her, abandoning her without a solution and an opportunity that clearly only him could execute.

She was not exactly angry with Hiccup, but more on herself. Her white fists were contrasting with her red face where her features were tormented. He finally tried to escape her furious gaze. Yes, he had abandoned her. He tried once again to justify himself: 

"How could I have known Astrid? You'd been on their side for so long!”

"No! I proved you that it was possible to change our minds. All we have to do is prove ourselves.”

"You're talking to the present time now Astrid. I don't like what you're insinuating," he claimed annoyed.

"We can still reverse it. It’s still possible to save our people! We just have to…”

"No." he cut it off.

"No?" she replied crumpled.

"I won’t follow you. They are not my people, Astrid. You are making a mistake here.”

She didn’t know what to answer to that. He took the chance to stored the workshop, by throwing the water outside and cleaning the anvils near the fireplace. He easily carried the kilos of metal that were lying around. Placed on the central table, he put in boxes of his unfinished works. A few baskets of screws and weights were scattered in the workshop and he made sure not to drop anything. He lined the pliers around the cooling fireplace. The chimney above the worktable was blocked to prevent the night snow falling into the room. Astrid watched him agitated, annoyed by this disturbing sensation, like a child addressing an adult in the middle of his work.

""Hiccup, I've been searching you for years through the Archipelago, just because you never went back for me ten years ago. So, I'm definitely not leaving this place without you." she said, trying the best she could to hide her growing hostility.

“Astrid... I have responsibilities here and I can't give them up for your beautiful blue eyes. I live here, I'm not a Berkian anymore. I don't owe a shit to you or your village.”

She got up furious. Twenty-three years of controlling the situation so that he could just send her home without caring at all.

"I'm sorry Astrid, I guess that's not the answer you were expecting, but it was ten years ago, and I had move on. I had to!” he insisted.

"So, letting people die, for you, is to move on?” She barely recognized the tone she was using. "For you, to hide yourself at the other end of the Archipelago is to move on?"

She couldn't go home. She couldn't go home with her family and expect that everything would be like before she ran away from Berk. She escaped so no more Viking would perish because of a dragon. She escaped because she couldn't hide anymore. She was tired of faking that she was okay with this, that she could just live when she could act and finish everything.

Hiccup stopped cleaning his workplace and focused his attention on her again.

"It took me years to move on, Astrid. Do you think it was easy? It took me years to find a small place where I can finally belong and, you know, I paid the price for it. I'm sorry you couldn't do the same. I understand you're angry, but…”

"I'm not angry!" she exclaimed. "I don't want to be angry. But I didn't really expect... this.”

He raised an eyebrow when she gestured all of him.

"This?" 

She covered her face with her warm gloves stuffed with wool.

"I don't know! I thought you'd be a scar-covered hermit, all alone in a mountain, not... »

Not what? Not a young and very hot blacksmith? What was she going to find out next? A family? A child? She surprised herself not wanting to know the answers of those questions.

"Not Hiccup Haddock with a stable and settled situation in a village that appreciates him?" he guessed dryly.

She clearly didn’t want to respond to that assertion. She couldn't. She looked down, her face taken by shame because, inevitably, she nodded. She saw Hiccup's shoulders collapse with disappointment. She kept tightened her fists.

"You live here safe and sound when you could help people, Hiccup."

He didn't reply this time. He didn't need to. He did a gesture in his face that made it clear that he had already said what he needed to say, making her feeling helpless for not having a better argument. She had spent months looking for a ghost in the Archipelago and, against all her hopes, he wasn’t willing to help her at all.

She was alone. All alone.

Hiccup approached her slowly and sit on the table in front of her: 

"Astrid…” 

His way of pronouncing her name numbed her senses, she felt that his voice was echoing in space and penetrated her skin. How long hadn’t she heard him saying it? She remembered the shrill and uncomfortable intonation of a boy intimidated by his crush.

"I lost everything that day," he added. 

She looked up at him, trying to hide her anger, which he could easily perceive. He had attentive eyes and she felt vulnerable for the first time in years. She clenched her teeth, unable to keep her rage because of his selfishness. 

"And what do you think I’ve lost?" She got up from the stool and turned away from him. "I wasted my time.”

"Astrid…”

"I wasted my time looking a solution from a guy who doesn't care! Who has no respect and who is just a fucking selfish!”

Hiccup walked away from her, seized by the sudden assault.

"I went around the markets and trapper villages! I've spent all my savings and exhausted my dragon to find you! I can't beat the Red Death alone! It's impossible! And of course, I can't lead Berk to its death sentence! With your help, we would have found a solution... You're the engineer!

"Your dragon?" He murmured shocked.

"I have no one! I have no one but you! And Berk dies between raids and famine! Your father is asking help to vile men... But you're hiding in a little shithole! I should have guessed and not wasted my time with a useless snot like you!"

She trembled like the leaves of a tree under the storm, staked by the agitation that disturbed her. She lost control of herself. This simple refusal was stifling her lungs: she was afraid. If all this had served for no purpose and her village was doomed to die in this war against the dragons, then what role had she played in this massacre?

She turned and walked towards the exit. Hiccup didn't follow her, why would he? She had been terrible with him. She didn’t turn back; the anxiety was paralyzing her senses.

Outside the night had already fallen, black and thick as deep waters. She wanted a good bed, a mattress and fresh sheets that would smell like her mother’s handmade soap. She had never felt so far from home until that moment. How could she go back? How would she move forward? She could do what Hiccup did: ignore the suffering of her people and settled in the other corner of the world, very far from the problem, where she could die alone and old. For all that... The howl of rage coming out from her throat frightened a passer-by and her son who were crossing the same muddy alley she was walking through. She was stuck, without a plan and alone in the world. She had to go back to Stormfly and curled up in her scales to forget that she was in much more pain than she dared admit.

Her pulse was beating through her entire body. Her home was her blue and graceful Deadly Nadder Stormfly. Her songbird and her best friend. Her only friend. She had been so eager to show Hiccup her research, to compare their respective writings and knowledge. Throughout the years, she had studied the many notes he left on his way, using it for her own research. Astrid's notebook was containing all the notes of her encounters during her many years of waiting. It was hidden in one of the satchels of her dragon. Nevertheless, Astrid’s world was covered with a thick veil of frustration and she had the feeling that even her research had been pointless.

Her jaw was suffering as a consequence of clenching her teeth. She fucked it up for his impulsive misbehaviour. She didn’t dared to consider what he thought about her. She did all this journey to finish it by not being able to prove to him that she had changed, and it was thanks to him. She was the proof that everyone could do the same. His first impression of her, after all these years, must have been terrible. She couldn't believe she had ruined everything in just an instant. She had found him! Why couldn't she bring herself to celebrate it with Hiccup?

Behind her she heard the sound of the forge door closing and steps in the snow. She didn’t wanted to turn around as she was too ashamed, but the crackling of the ice stopped a few steps from her.

"I suppose you have nowhere to sleep?"

She turned to him, his eyes were once again soft, with a thin and benevolent smile covering his handsome face. His poorly trimmed beard accentuates his adult features, his eyes carrying tiny bursts of laughter. She wanted to apologize, but the words didn’t came out of her mouth.

"I understand your disappointment Astrid, believe me. The least thing I can do for you is offering you a bed. You can stay here as long as you need, at least until you figure it out what to do."

She didn't know what to answer, her mind was lost in his words and all her problems suddenly seemed to find a resolution. Tomorrow would be another day and maybe even after tomorrow he could agree to follow her. There was only one question left that needed to be answered.

"Where's Toothless?"

This time a shiny smile spread to the young man's lips:

"He's flying."


End file.
